Truth or Dare
by Garnet Heart
Summary: Taking a quick break to recuperate before their final battle, our heroes try to unwind by playing a game of truth or dare. Rinoa learns that some truths, no matter how painful, are worth sharing while Squall discovers that some dares are worth everything. I re-rated from M to T because it isn't very graphic, but does deal with difficult themes, which may be triggering to some.


Disclaimers: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII or any of its characters. I do not own the rights to any Monopoly game pieces (all will be clear if you read on). **Trigger warning:** this story contains relatively non-graphic descriptions of partner-violence, substance abuse, and implied non-consensual sexual activity. If that will cause you pain or anxiety, please don't read.

* * *

 **Truth or Dare**

The group of six were gathered around a campfire feeling satisfied and drowsy from the day's exploits and from having feasted on the roasted fish they'd caught off the seawall earlier in the day. Having finally secured all of the supplies necessary to make an attempt on the Lunatic Pandora, Squall had conferred with Quistis and the pair had decided that the team would spend two days recuperating and mentally preparing themselves along the Centran beaches, just outside of the old orphanage where all of them save Rinoa had gotten their start in life. They had all been exhausted, dispirited, and morose about the mission ahead. Squall and Quistis, the group's leader and unofficial second in command respectively, weren't entirely sure that the team could let go of its collective anxiety for long enough to make the days off truly restful, but it had been deemed worth a shot. It was the closest they were going to get to a calm before the storm.

The day, their first on the beach, had been spent pleasantly enough. Zell and Irvine had showed Rinoa, who had never been fishing, and Selphie, who had only ice-fished since childhood, how to bait a lure and cast a line into the sea. Rinoa had been surprised but jubilant when she got a bite, and Irvine and Squall had both had to help her haul in the sizeable sea bass on the end of her line. Later, they played a game of beach volleyball, one of Balamb's favorite pastimes. Zell had taken a net from Garden and stowed it on the Ragnarok for safe keeping in the event that they got a real break. Their first game had pitted Squall and Rinoa against Zell and Quistis, with Irvine serving as referee and Selphie as the enthusiastic commentator, line coach, and cheerleader for both teams. It had been a good match-up, with Squall, Zell and Quistis all having played at least semi-frequently as cadets and Rinoa having played hard court volleyball in school. In the end, Quistis' powerful serves and Zell's out-of-nowhere spikes could not be denied, and their team won by a couple of points.

Now, well after sunset, they all sat quietly, occasionally glancing at each other as the dancing firelight cast peculiar shadows across their faces. Irvine had produced a handle of Trabian whiskey from his bag, which they passed in a circle, each grimacing in turn as they took swigs of the strong, acrid liquor. When the bottle returned to Irvine, he proposed a game of "Truth or Dare." But for Squall, they all looked up, smiling quizzically at the prospect.

"What are we, twelve?" their leader muttered with an eye roll.

"Well _you_ don't have to play, Mr. Too Grown Up for Fun!" Selphie chirped. "Personally, I would love to come up with some stupid dares and to learn everyone's dirty little secrets!"

And so the game began. Zell confessed to stealing food from the Garden cafeteria on a semi-frequent basis. Quistis pled guilty to having smoked some Galbadian hashish with Xu and a few other junior instructors the night before Squall and Zell's field exam. Irvine hit Selphie with a dare, causing her to strip down to her bathing suit, jump into the frigid ocean, and then warm herself up by hopping in a circle around the fire. They were all in stitches laughing but for Squall, who was still astutely not playing, when their pint-sized friend lost her footing as she hopped and landed squarely on her rump. For his part, Squall shielded his mouth with a hand and rolled his eyes again when he caught Rinoa watching him. She smiled and returned her attention to Selphie who was up and hopping again.

So it went for a few more rounds, still passing the bottle of liquor until they were each feeling buzzed, leaning towards drunk. When it next came Quistis' turn to assign a truth or dare she looked at them each in turn around the fire, finally settling her cool gaze on Rinoa, who waved at her gamely.

"Rinoa, truth or dare?"

Rinoa seemed to consider the question for a moment before picking truth.

"Did you have sex with Seifer?"

The question hung in an awkward stillness for a fraction of a second before the whole group reacted at once. Zell's eyes went wide. Irvine clapped Quistis on the shoulder and congratulated her loudly for asking a 'below the belt' question. Selphie giggled nervously. Rinoa looked down at the sand, her cheeks turning pink, and Squall cut Quistis a withering look.

"She doesn't have to answer that!"

"Uh, she kind of does, Squall," Zell corrected. "Those are the rules-"

"Oh come on! Quit acting like you don't want to know the answer to that question!" Quistis interrupted, rounding on Squall with a raised voice.

"Don't tell me how I feel!" Squall snapped back, balling his hands into fists at his sides and moving as if to lunge. Rinoa grabbed Squall's left wrist from her position beside him as she called out.

"Stop it! All of you! It's fine, it's fine. I'll answer the question."

Rinoa paused for a moment, releasing Squall's arm, apparently convinced that he wouldn't either really get into it with Quistis or storm away. She glanced down again before looking Quistis in the eye.

"I'm not ashamed. Yes, we were intimate."

"Ew, with _him_? Really?" Zell exclaimed making a face.

Irvine sat back, shaking his head.

"So _that_ son–of-a-bitch punched your V-card, huh?"

"I thought it was only supposed to be one question?" Rinoa retorted. "But no, I wasn't a virgin when I met Seifer. I had a high school boyfriend."

"Oh my gosh, that's so cute!" Selphie exclaimed. "High school sweethearts! Was it magical?"

"Not really."

Rinoa frowned and shook her head.

"I um…I really… I don't want to talk about it. It's getting too hot here by the fire, plus I think I got a little sunburned earlier. I'm gonna go for a walk by the water to cool off." She got up quickly, brushing the sand from her legs, and turned to walk away.

"Aw, darlin', no need to be embarrassed! Irvine called after her. "I ain't no virgin, and Selphie probably won't be either, come tomorrow morning!"

"In your dreams, Kinneas!" Selphie shrieked, batting fiercely at the cowboy's head and causing him to topple over into the sand, where they began to engage in some loud, drunken play-wrestling.

"I'm not embarrassed, I just… I want to be alone for a little while," Rinoa said quietly so that only Squall and Quistis could hear before stepping quickly away, her form lost to the darkness. Squall sat gazing into the fire for a minute or two before getting up without a glance at the others and heading towards his tent.

Three quarters of an hour later Rinoa sat in the sand down on the thin peninsula of beach. She was facing the eastern horizon, and the larger waves broke close to where she sat, lapping at her bare feet and ankles.

"Hey," Squall said, walking over to stand behind her and dropping a beach blanket he had been carrying around her bare shoulders

"Hey, yourself," she responded, indicating to the patch of sand beside her. "You can sit if you want to – there's plenty of sand to go around."

Squall slowly worked his shoes off, set them aside, and dropped to sit cross-legged beside her.

"It's beautiful out here, isn't it?" Rinoa asked. "There's no light pollution so you can see all of the stars."

Squall wondered if he hadn't perhaps seen his fill of stars in recent weeks, but nodded his head slightly all the same and cleared his throat.

"Look, I know I'm supposed to say something here, but I really…don't know what you want me to say…" he trailed off.

Rinoa shrugged.

"It's okay. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Does what I said back there bother you?"

Squall glanced at her, but she seemed intent on staring into the distance, her expression uncharacteristically impassive.

"About being with Seifer?"

"Well, I already know you're not his biggest fan. I guess I meant more about me being…impure."

Squall frowned at her word choice. Both Garden and Balambanian culture shared a fairly relaxed attitude towards sex, but the way Rinoa spoke of it made her sound irrevocably tainted.

"That's…not the word I would use. And no, it doesn't _bother_ me. It doesn't change who you are," he offered, voice level and quiet.

"Does it change the way you feel about me?" Rinoa's gaze was still steadfastly on the horizon, her arms were hugged around her knees from under the blanket.

Squall silently pondered whether he would have thrown himself into the vacuum of space after her with barely a prayer for his own survival had he known with certainty that she had once shared herself with his enemy. Would he be willing to let the one silver lining to the many clouds in his life disappear over something so petty?

"No," Squall replied quietly after a moment's pause.

Rinoa finally turned her head to face him, a small but less-than-happy smile playing on her lips. She reached out and took his right hand with her left.

"I'm glad. You're a good person, Squall."

She squeezed his hand lightly with her thumb.

"Do you want to hear about what happened back then?" she asked.

"You said you didn't want to talk about it."

"I didn't want tell everyone. But I'll tell you if you want to know."

Squall shrugged and combed the fingers of his free hand through the wet sand.

"Look, if you feel like talking about it, I'm here, but don't let it be my choice."

"Okay."

Rinoa turned back to the horizon and seemed to make up her mind. After a few moments, she began to speak.

"A few weeks after I started junior year of high school, this guy Bryus asked me out. I was kind of…shocked and very flattered that he wanted to date me. He was a popular senior and a sports star. He was captain of the swim team. His parents were super-rich. I had seen them at some swanky parties that my dad attended. All the prettiest, most popular girls in the school followed him around, and I was just… Well, I was just _not that_. The General didn't give me a ton of money to spend on clothes, he didn't let me wear make up to school, and he was really strict about my grades, so I was usually in the library studying. Anyway, everything was fine at first. It was kind of every high school girl's dream. He would take me out to eat at fancy restaurants and to movies and stuff. He gave me little gifts all the time. The General didn't know. He had a strict no-dating policy, so I had to make up a lot of stories. "

Rinoa paused for a few seconds and Squall nodded, wondering where she was going with this.

"After seeing each other for a few weeks, we had sex when Bryus' parents were out of town and I was supposedly sleeping over at a girlfriend's house. I don't know if it's fair to say he pressured me into it… I was curious, but he was a lot more excited about it than I was. And it was…fine. I mean, it hurt quite a lot and was over really fast, but my friends said that mostly normal. Not long after we'd slept together, Bryus started to change. He told me I that I couldn't hang out with any other boys at school. I didn't really worry about it at first because I didn't have a ton of guy friends anyway, but I didn't know he meant that I shouldn't talk to anyone with a Y chromosome. I caught a bug and was home sick for a couple of days, and when I got back, I stopped a guy from my chemistry class in the hallway to ask to borrow notes. Bryus saw me talking to him, and after school he pulled me into an empty classroom and slapped me really hard across the face. I was completely stunned and I freaked out. He immediately apologized and begged me not to tell anyone. He swore up and down that it would never happen again. You can probably guess where this is going…"

"It happened again?" Squall ventured, uncomfortable with the conjured image of some punk raising his hands against a younger, defenseless Rinoa.

"Yeah. He always had some reason for it… he lost a race, or did worse than he expected on a test, or he couldn't find his keys or whatever. Somehow it was always my fault. He would hit me like…on the thighs and back and stuff so no one could see when I was wearing clothes. A couple of times I had to make excuses. When he gave me a black eye, I had to tell the General that I caught an elbow to the face at volleyball practice. The scariest time, he choked me until I was starting to black out and made me wear turtle-neck sweaters and scarves for a week afterwards until the marks went away. He told me he had taped us having sex and he would show Caraway and everyone at school if I told anyone. We had sex whenever he wanted to, no matter how I felt about it…"

Rinoa trailed off as her voice became thick with emotion. Squall dropped her hand and brought his arm around her shoulders in support, though his skin was prickling with anger.

"Rin, that's so wrong…"

"I know. It was horrible," she said, pausing to adjust the blanket, wrapping it around both of them against the chill of the wee hours. She continued at length, "I started drinking. I would pay older kids out of my lunch money or allowance to buy booze for me, or I'd steal some of the General's whiskey and add water to the bottle, because when I was drunk, the stuff Bryus would do to me didn't hurt so much. But my grades were starting to slip. I wasn't eating or sleeping properly. I looked and felt terrible all the time. My friends hardly knew me anymore and were sick of covering for me if Caraway called looking for me. I felt really trapped."

Rinoa shook her head vigorously as if to ward off the memory.

"Things were falling apart, and I knew something was going to give. I went to the end of the year swim meet because I had to be the supportive girlfriend, you know… Bryus lost his race. I mean, he didn't do badly, he came in second, but that wasn't good enough for someone like him. After he got out of the pool, he turned and looked up at me in the stands…and the look on his face… His eyes were black with anger and I just knew he was going to kill me. I was so scared. So I ran out of the building. I just turned and ran and ran and ran. I didn't really know where I was going. I think I was just going to keep running until I collapsed. I was so upset and wasn't really paying attention, and I ran into a busy intersection and almost got hit by a bus near the train station. Seifer had just arrived in Deling for the summer, and he saw what happened with the bus. He pulled me out of the street and into a coffee shop. When I had pulled myself together, he asked me who I was running from. I had been keeping this secret for so long, I felt so alone, and I just…burst. I told him everything. The next day, I pointed out Bryus to Seifer after school, and he put him in the hospital – broke his arm and knocked a few teeth down his throat."

"Yeah, that sounds like Seifer," Squall mumbled. "You got together with him after that?"

"Not right away. I mean, I could tell that he liked me. He kept coming up with reasons to see me, even though I was a kid still in high school, and he was supposed to be doing work for his assignment. It was kind of sweet. And I did like him back. My self confidence was basically non-existent after going through everything with Bryus, and as you know, Seifer has enough bluster and bravado for ten people. Like I said way back at Galbadia Garden, I felt braver and stronger when I was around him. But he was kind of over-protective…not jealous like Bryus, but maybe like how an older brother would be? It wasn't exactly romantic, but it was so much better than how things had been before. I probably led him on more than I should have because I was scared of being alone. We fooled around a couple of times, just above the waist on my part, because I wasn't ready to be completely vulnerable again so soon. I kind of felt like I owed him that much…" Rinoa trailed off, winced, and shook her head again.

She searched Squall's eyes with her own in the darkness, her expression pained.

"That's terrible, isn't it? Do you think I'm a slut?"

"What that little shit did to you was terrible. You did what you had to do to get through it. You're not a slut," Squall said with finality. He drew her closer until she rested her temple against his shoulder and he let his cheek rest against the crown of her head.

"It wasn't even over," Rinoa continued. "Somehow Bryus figured out that Seifer was with Garden and that he would be leaving at the end of the summer. In August, he wrote me a letter basically saying he was going to kill me as soon as Seifer left. I showed the letter to Seifer and he helped me run away to Timber."

"Running away was really better than just telling Caraway and the police what was going on?"

Rinoa nodded slightly her hair tickling Squall's nose.

"I think so. Being in Timber gave me something to focus on besides my own problems. The Owls took me in right away, I had instant friends, and I didn't feel like a victim anymore. The resistance movement gave me a good reason to get stronger and more confident. I got to feel what it was like to just…be myself, away from everyone's expectations. Besides, if the General had found out, he would have sent me away to boarding school. I'd still be there right now instead of here. And I'm glad I'm here."

Squall turned his head slightly to face her, his lips now pressed against her ink black hair.

"I'm glad you're here too and not at boarding school, or murdered by that piece of shit, or flattened by a bus, or eaten by a giant lizard, or…"

"Or suffocated floating in space?" Rinoa supplied.

"Yeah. I can't even say that one," Squall admitted.

"Or frozen in that stupid memorial where I should never have let you go in the first place…" he murmured at length.

"It's okay, I talked you into letting me go," Rinoa said, nudging his bare foot gently with her own.

"That doesn't make it okay," Squall replied, frowning at the memory of his inner conflict, only so recently resolved.

"It also doesn't make it your fault. You came and rescued me when it counted, and that was really great."

Smiling now, Rinoa gently pushed Squall's head away from where it rested, moving so that she now sat opposite him, and clasped both of his hands. Squall was relieved to notice that the warm, convivial light that usually present in her eyes had returned. She covered his toes, now cold from the wet sand and lapping waves, with her own, her smile broadening.

"Look, in case it isn't totally obvious, I really, really like you Squall. I've never felt this way. I didn't even know I _could_ feel this way. You let me be myself, even when I annoy you. And I trust you, even though I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to trust a man again. I want so badly to fall in love, but I'm worried that I'm cursed and that I'll accidentally say something to screw everything up between us. Or, you know, that I'll set the world on fire by accident…"

Squall tried very hard not to flinch. He was taken aback by her words. By one powerful word in particular. It was a dangerous word, and one that only Rinoa had ever cast in his direction before, no matter how casually. However, the irony of what she had just said helped him to overcome the roiling emotions.

"I'm pretty sure the others are placing bets on me being the one to say something stupid to screw things up," he said quietly. "That's one reason I don't talk very much."

Rinoa pouted momentarily but her expression brightened again quickly, as if someone had flicked a light switch.

"How about this: we both get one 'get out of jail free' card," she proposed.

"Sorry, what?"

"It's from a game I used to play with Zone and Watts. What I mean is that we each get a chance to say something dumb that we don't mean, and if we apologize, then the other person has to forgive it. So then neither of us has to worry so much about messing things up. Deal?"

"Deal," Squall repeated with a small but noticeable smile.

Rinoa raised and lowered both of his hands as if to shake on their agreement before letting go and returning to her former position facing the ocean where starlight reflected off the dancing waves. They sat in companionable silence for a few more minutes before Rinoa spoke again.

"So, now that you know my dark secret and we both have a 'get out of jail free'…are we going to give _us_ a real shot if we both make it back alive?" she asked quietly.

"We're _all_ going to make it back. We have to," Squall replied firmly. "And yes, I would like a chance to be with you, in case it isn't totally obvious," he said, borrowing her turn of phrase of a few minutes ago.

"Nothing's 'totally obvious' with you, Mr. 'I Pretend I'm a Brick Wall that has No Feelings!'" Rinoa exclaimed teasingly, elbowing him in the side.

"Great, I've acquired a couple more unflattering nicknames tonight in addition to the original 'Big Meanie.' 'No fun,' 'no feelings.' Sorry I'm such a drag."

"We also call you 'Commander Sexy Pants' behind your back," Rinoa teased again, causing Squall to raise a hand to his brow and glare at her from beneath it.

"Oh come on, I'm just playing. Besides, I suspect you can be plenty of fun when you want to be," Rinoa said, her head cocked and an eyebrow arched to imply innuendo.

Squall smirked a little and almost convinced himself to try flirting back, but he grew serious again.

"If you want, when all this is over, we can go pay Bryce a visit and I can make him wish he'd never even set eyes on you," he offered darkly.

"It was Bryus, and I've thought about that myself in some of my more…difficult moments since I became a sorceress. I could track him down and see how tough he is after a couple of gravija spells. But, that seems like something Ultimecia would do, and that's not the type of sorceress, not the type of _person_ I want to be. I know you would kill him if I asked you to, and it's very sweet in a twisted sort of way, but I've already had to bust you out of a Galbadian prison once. I'm sure you remember that it wasn't very much fun."

Squall winced at his memories of the prison and their hair-raising escape, some of which she only knew the half of, and nodded his agreement. He wondered, _was_ it twisted to want to pulverize the face of someone who had done unforgivable things to another smaller, weaker person? Someone who had done those things to a person who, as a teenage runaway and now a sorceress, was unlikely to ever see justice from the law? Could smiting Rinoa's abuser be his way of getting revenge on Seifer for kicking the shit out of him more times than he could count throughout adolescence? Or for tormenting him in said Galbadian prison until he had wished for death? Was it the principle of the thing, was it revenge by proxy, or was it the sickening idea of Rinoa, _his_ Rinoa - her trust misplaced, innocence lost, heart broken, and body battered, her life almost snuffed out for no reason by cruel hands around her windpipe - that made the thought of violence so appealing? A burning sensation in his gut answered the question for him. He broke from his thoughts to study her profile in the darkness, trying to memorize the outline of her face and the exact shade of her skin and hair, not for the first time. If she was aware of him watching her, she didn't let on.

"You know I'd never hurt you, right? That I wouldn't touch you if you didn't want me to?" Squall finally asked quietly, turning his gaze down to his hands where he could almost see the blood stains of the countless men and beasts he had killed.

Rinoa reached over and clasped his hand again, twining her fingers through his. The skin-to-skin contact drove away the phantasms of gore.

"I know you wouldn't, and that means so much to me, Squall. But, uh, if I'm being honest…I really _want_ you to touch me," she whispered in a low voice and drew closer, her mouth so close to his neck that he could feel her breath on his skin.

Squall's own breath hitched and his gut continued to churn with familiar anxiety, the effects of the liquor that had emboldened him somewhat and loosened his tongue over the past hour or two having completely worn off. He felt her gaze on him, her eyes impossibly deep but warm and hopeful as they reflected the light from the stars. The stars that had almost swallowed her whole…

"When we get back, right?" he asked around the lump that had formed in his throat, trying to sound a lot calmer and nonchalant than he felt.

" _Still_ playing hard to get? Fine, I can be patient!" she exclaimed, breaking their joined hands and reaching up to ruffle his hair playfully, dissipating the tension.

"Can we sleep out here?" she asked, changing the subject much to Squall's relief. "I'm getting sleepy and I don't feel like seeing the others just yet, in case they want to ask more questions. Though maybe I should make Quistis tell us all about _her_ sex life…"

"Hyne, _please_ no," Squall intoned causing Rinoa to giggle.

"Great. Out here it is then!"

Squall turned and looked up the beach in the darkness.

"It'll be chilly with no fire, and this spot is pretty exposed to the wind. Also, we'd have to make sure we were high up enough to not get drenched when the tide comes in. But if you really want to, we could drag a tent and sleeping bags out here."

Rinoa nodded, smiling now. She stood, turned and walked several paces further up the beach. "I'll clear a spot for the tent if you go get it? I want to watch the sunrise!" she called to him, extending an arm towards the water.

And so they did. The weariness of only a few hours' sleep was kept mostly at bay by the excitement of their now fully-recognized entanglement as they sat in the doorway of the tent awaiting the dawn. Rinoa rested between Squall's legs, her back pressed against his abdomen and his chin propped lightly on her shoulder. He breathed in the scent of her hair and silently pledged not to view her as a victim – not of Bryus, not of Caraway, and not of the Sorceress. She had survived against all odds, and she was so much more than that. She had been hurt and betrayed, but she hadn't allowed it to stop her from believing in the goodness of people or in her own worthiness. Squall wasn't sure he really understood it, but he thought that she was brave in ways he couldn't be - at least not yet, but maybe soon.

Squall thought it was strange how the last couple of hours spent drowsing in Rinoa's arms, as chaste as it had been, had changed so much. The vice of anxiety at the pit of his stomach had finally released, seemingly unable to sustain its grip any longer against her unrelenting warmth and patience with him. He had fucked up so often and so badly and yet she still loved him. She had said so, whispering it under her breath into his shoulder as his mind hovered between wakefulness and sleep. Even that word, that evil, slippery, wonderful little word, wasn't so terrifying anymore. Love was both the truth and the dare.

Rinoa's quiet gasp broke Squall from his reverie and his gaze joined hers on the Eastern horizon where the first golden light appeared, casting a brilliant pathway across the waves.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** This is obviously some "head cannon" that I devised to answer a few unanswered questions from the game. Namely: under what circumstances did Rinoa and Seifer meet and part? What was Rinoa really running away from when she left home for Timber?Why was she so intent that Seifer not reveal the circumstances of their relationship when they encountered him later? Also, one of the biggest criticisms of the game is that Squall and Rinoa's relationship requires quite a lot of reading between the lines or else it seems to come out of nowhere. So this is me, reading between the lines.

The back story I gave Rinoa was partially inspired by the Law and Order: SVU episode "Crush," (2009) which I think did a good job of exploring the terror and complex emotions commonly felt by young (minor) victims of partner abuse.

I also think a story of mutual redemption is more interesting for Squall and Rinoa instead of the "magical pixie dream girl fixes broken boy" trope.

So there you have it. Thank you very much for reading. Your feedback is always welcome.


End file.
